It's another annual deadline hiatus...

So I bet you are all probably wondering why on earth I haven't been posting any crazy going ons lately in my misshapen/woven/sad life. Alas it pains and sickens me to say what I am about to say...I'm severely sorry to disappoint my fan base of about...what... 8 people... into saying that this blog HAS TO BE on a temporary hiatus. Until at least April. Please don't get the razor-blades out and the miniature violins out... you are making me look some sort of sadistic Dickens Villain.

The reason then? Blame the inherent overload and epidemic of final university work and deadlines, meandering my way and coming soon to a cinema near you. It's absolutely awful to say the least. By the dreaded doomsday of 27th April I have to write two, 2000 word essays, make a portfolio and do 2, 3500 worded bad boy essays. And one of them is on the Renaissance moron and douchebag that is Shakespeare, a module that I didn't even choose but got forced into doing. BANE OF MY LITTLE SPINSTER LIFE.   So as you can see, I have a rather large amount of academic study, essay writing and tearing-the hair-out-of my-buggered-head episodes apparent on my mighty plate of life. I cannot gorge all that and keep up to date with the blog as I have been doing the past several weeks, over feeding myself virtually as it were. So it was either do a mindless shit little one blog a week post, which let's face it isn't interesting, big or clever or alternatively just stop altogether for a few weeks and concentrate on my studies. Evidently I've chosen the dark side and the depressing and heart palpitating latter.

After weighing up the options it is after all... only 4 weeks or so of my whole entire life. To date. And gaining a good mark is really important to me as I like to think that along with being satircal, stylish and whatever, I can have the potential to be an intelligent little know it all. Who scorns in the face of society by reading high end and diverse literature.  BUT NEVER FEAR! Certainly I'll have a whole endless, boring and perpetuating summer (after my semester of impending literary doom) to write oodles and boodles of stuff about materialistic things such as clothes, shopping, clothes, outfit posts, girl crushes, weekly wish lists...and did I mention clothes?

It is a shame though. Just when my blog has started to build momentum, interest and an actual stance/persona/aura surrounding it, I suddenly have to cut throat and stop. All my page views are going to dramatically decrease like there is no tomorrow. All my lovely comments off my lovely fellow bloggers will stop. I'll be like the invisible woman or Harry Potter, severely ignored by society in his cupboard under the stairs, FOREVER. But it has to be done I'm afraid. For the greater good of Gemma nerdkind. Perhaps a little time out will do me some productive good. Think about how to maintain the blog in more interesting ways, how to promote it better, plan more innovative posts to bring to the virtual table. So if anybody has any requests or ideas for my posts please feel free to say them to me. I'll cherish each one like I would a newborn Beckham baby girl.

So whether you come on this blog to pick up some of my "stylish" (or rather unstylish) tips, to genuinely read what I have over elaborately rambled on about, to look/appreciate/judge my clothes or just come on here to have a good giggle (either at me or with me, I'm not too fussed, more blog views at the end of the day...) then thank you very much so far. I really appreciate it and it gives me a gooey warm loved up feeling (much like a over affectionate couple feels in the street, making out in front of a group of OAPS and holding hands in a sickening and loving manner) that people actually take time to read what I have to say, comment or follow me regularly. SO PLEASE if you are still alive around the end of April and you are sitting there twiddling your thumbs, eating pie and watching 90's pop music and you suddenly think...remember that girl....that girl's blog...Gemma...Gemma...Gemma Liar? No...Gemma Sat-Fire? No...Gemma Satire, YES that's it....then DO NOT THINK I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO BLOGGING HEAVEN. I'm alive but just in an intensive care unit due to an academic coma. That's all. I'm just super, mega, ultra busy. Ironic really that Spring is starting to materialise itself again because I really am, a busy SS12 bee. I mean even as I'm writing this I'm packing my suitcase to go to London due to work related reasons aka. trying to bag some much needed experience. Suffice to say there's officially no stopping me once the can of professional/academic worms has been released. It may be a waste of time, it may not. Who the devil knows.

Hopefully with any shred of luck I will be fully discharged in April, as it where and ultimately and back where I belong. Here. With you guys, via this wondrous blog. And possibly commenting on yours too. On my computer each night, with a brew in one hand and a box of expensive chocolate in the other (well...maybe not expensive...but you know, the pretty enough packaging of Thorton's chocolates could perhaps give the illusion that I regularly indulge in luxury chocolate). Until then  in the immortal words of Schwarzenegger, asta la viesta baby.

GS X

My pathetic and vain attempt at a 'montage' of temporary-goodbye-blogging-hiatus-status-pictures:

Well I say montage, in all honesty my fiendish friends I was practicing with my camera before I went out the other day and decided to get photographically crafty again. Hopefully when normal blogging resumes you should all see a vast improvement. Hopefully. If not then well...there's always night school in college with the other menopausal women.

Weekly Wish List...Dress Special

Alas it is that time of the week again my fiendish friends...the climax our long and hard working troubles and errands, more commonly known as the weekend. And for me every Friday means pay day in which I can count my rubles, spend them irrationally in shops by being allured by the attractive window displays, then suddenly realising I have spent my entire weeks wages on a dress and a bag and thus have to live on pitiful cheese and crackers for the rest of the week. Still that could be a blessing in disguise I suppose due to the fact I'm going on holiday soon this year and have no motivational plans or athletic will power to take myself to the perilous gym (sweatpants, trainers and the Olympics? No thank you peasants.) . So more money spent on unadulterated clothes means less money spent on food means I might eventually look smokin hot in a bikini before my jollies (probably not Kim Kardashian or Cameron Diaz style but hey it's better than looking like Free Willy I suppose). AND who knows, a lack of food could make one's figure then look oh so stylish. Obviously I'm not anorexic or pro bulimia or anything, I'm just saying...beats paying for a gym membership that I'll end up going to about twice then having to do the walk of shame to cancel it, three long months later...

SO, if you are then familiar with my various blogging activities and dilly daddles then you should know that I like to do a Weekly Wish List. So whilst doing someting "online" researching (aka. the joy that is virtual window shopping)  for this weeks list I realised that the only thing garment I really want, need and yearn for with every clothing fibre of my mortal being is: dresses. Long, short, lace, maxi, dark, light, formal, informal, by heavens I want them all hanging in my closet ASAP. At the end of the month too, my manager is leaving where I work due to the fact she is moving away and therefore we are throwing a MASSIVE team related soiree in her honour. Consequently then, this occasion is the ultimate catalyst for my excessive dress scouting over the past several days. And what better excuse and justification is there for treating ones self to a new dress for all your co workers and public sundry to see and admire? In a frenzy then I've been adding dresses foolishly into my basket, talking myself into purchasing them and then chickening out and clicking off the website last minute (this is my fashionable clothes version of "Chicken" as it were.) In the end then I've narrowed it down to some of these flaring, feminine frocks, some more expensive, some cheaper, some lace, some classic and as you can probably only assume from my dark and menacing exterior as a person, you can expect a lot, a lot of black:

1. Milly, Marcella Chantilly lace dress, £380, available at www.net-a-porter.com 
2. Moschino, Lace and silk-crepe dress, £870, available at www.net-a-porter.com
3. Juicy Couture, Guipure lace dress, £265, available at www.net-a-porter.com 
4. Ruby Cut Out dress, £70, available at www.oasis-stores.com 
5 Animal Skater dress, £36, available at www.topshop.com
6. Poppy Lace dress by Jones and Jones, £60, available at www.topshop.com 
7. Lace neck dress, £34.99, available at www.shop.mango.com
8. Burberry London Silk Keyhole dress, £495, available at  www.flannelsfashion.com
9. ME ME- Pleated Detail dress, £119, available at  www.tedbaker.com
10. TELAGO- Lace Embroided Dress, £449, available at www.tedbaker.com 

Okay obviously here some dresses are VASTLY more expensive than others (number 1, 2, 3 and 10 I love excruciatingly, till my hearts fat with stylish content) but I have to remind myself that this is after all, a weekly wish list and so a girl can dream, can't she? Number 1 is by a brand called Milly and I have been recently introduced to their stylish dresses of Lady like calibre and I have to say if that I had another student loan coming my way soon along with a white collar event such as the races, a fancy dinner or awards ceremony or something (because you know I am so brilliantly talented at life and such) I think this lace dress would definitely be worth the price and a clear cut investment. The Number 2 Moschino dress alas is so far beyond and completely of my price range (to quote Buzz, to infinity and beyond to be precise) but it so versatile! If you're lucky enough to bag this you could wear it for both night and day, very summer Lady of the Manor. And Number 3...I know what you're thinking. There is always a social stigma that comes with Juicy Couture for their infamous tracksuits. But when I saw this dress featured on the website I was completely in awe that Juicy was behind the creation. How classic and pristine is it please? And the price is quite reasonable too. When giving it a closer inspection I felt weird feelings and emotions...like I could potentially might buy it, until of course I realised it was completely sold out. Just for the best really. Don't want my bank account to fall into a state of cardiac arrest I suppose...

Numbers 4 and 5 too are the cheaper alternatives for dresses. A little black dress and leopard print style hark back to the quintessential dresses of feminine allure and sophistication. The leopard print one is an absolute STEAL for £36 (no doubt my bank balance's cholesterol will go down after finding a dress like this at such a price) and the black one has absolutely gorgeous straps on the front that give it a sultry yet modernised look. It may look "slaggy" on my mood board (because sadly I'm not a creative collage soul kind of person, I'm talentless at practical creativity)  but if you go on the website and zoom in on the model, the tailoring behind it is so reformed and looks more expensive than it is. Lace certainly attacks my dress radar again with Number 6 and 7 which are cheaper alternatives again to the main designer bad boy price tags. Can't go wrong at a par-tay with a cheeky bit of black and lace mixed together like an intoxicating cocktail, can you? I love the colour of the Burberry Number 8 as well, it reminds me very much of a dress Devonshire goddess Rosie Huntington Whitely wore. The price however makes me want to gauge my eyes out. Evidently then quite the love/hate relationship. Last then and certainly not least is the two blessed Ted Baker dresses. Monochrome is always a winner in my book and Number 9 has a very appealing 60's-esque vibe. As you know I have a lot of time for the decade of women's liberation, The Beatles and free love. You can wear it again, either night with platforms or in the day with some cheeky little patent brogues and black ankle socks, working that androgyny like no other Ted Baker-ette has done before. Number 10 however...did kind of make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end...in the best possible way of course. It's lace, its feminine, it has a cut out at the back, its got a netted skirt and most significantly of all...it is NAVY! MY "signature" colour as it were.  It is then undeniably a dress of snazzy party girl dreams. Empire State of Dresses. Concrete jungle where occasion dresses are made of. There's nothing you can do....(because the dress is at a ridiculous extortionate price that you may be willing to sell a kidney for....)

Oh decisions, decisions, decisions. What is a girl to do surrounded by all this allure and lace. Knowing me I'll probably defy all these dress goddesses and place sin upon the world by buying a completely opposing dress I see waiting for me prettily on a hanger in another shop. But like just like Eve, I can't usually help myself. Shop curiosity always gets the better of me in the end and who can resist a bit of mouthwatering forbidden financial fruit? Especially if it's calling out to you in via a mysterious and seductive Tree of Knowledge aka a fabulous shop window display...

GS x

Satire's Wearing: Dogtooth Stones

I know the name of this look doesn't seem too charming or full of that delightful fashionable decorum. However I wore this little ensemble to the dentists this morning and you know what with them messing around with peoples teeth, I thought a particular little dogtooth skirt would be ironically appropriate? And may impress my really attractive dentist...who knows? I mean he is more likely to be impressed by my outfits rather than the current state of my abysmal teeth. I mean every time he must put his fingers in my haven of a mouth and poke around to see what various cavities I have he must want to die a little on the inside. And frankly I don't blame him. It's so embarrassing trying to remain elegant, poised and Audrey like, in an attempt to make a  stylish good impression on him, (the lovable guy that he is!) when he is making me open my mouth as wide as the Mersey tunnel or like an eager and hungry tyrannousarus rex whilst probably in the back of his mind judging my teeth like middle class men are constantly judging the state of the economy. Alas my teeth are by no means the perfection that is Simon Cowell's wondrous teeth. The only decent thing about them in the eyes of the dentistry world is that they are on the straight and narrow from my colourful teenage braces, which now seem like various decades ago. Anyway enough of my backlog dental history that nobody cares about, sink your teeth into instead, my pretties, my little tooth fairy of an outfit...if the tooth fairy herself was maybe androgynous and an avid fan of the Rolling Stones, that is:

Top: Primark
Necklace: Topshop
Skirt: Vintage
Boots: Miss Selfridge 

As you can see I'm trying to get ever so craftier with my newly found and albeit shit,  photo editing skills. I even found out to make a collage, so if you will all partake now in singing with me; go Gemma it's your birthday. However it's all still new to me and in worldly progress I'm afraid but credit were credit is due...Picasa 3... now that little sweet tooth of a photo software is possibly one of the best things since sliced bread! So I'm thanking throughly and humbly a wise blogger who recommended me to use it! 

AWH. I really do love my Rolling Stones top like a mother loves her scruffy and sometimes anti social child AND can you credit it that it was only a tenner from Primark?! I mean, in all honesty I never usually go in there anymore (my pretentious arse is now far too high calibre as it were...) but whilst purchasing the essentials from there; socks, underwear and the faithful pj's, this top just caught my short sighted eye and I placed there and then, placed all my preconceptions aside as I simply could not resist the lip kissing tee. The skirt too I revive every now and then and got it for a modest £3 many moons ago (were talking years here substantiating the fact that it has never really gone out of style, PRO cheap second hand clobber!) My necklace too, a YSL gold chain inspired/wannabe is on the top ten list of my over hoarded accessory obsessions at the moment. I wear it both casual and for nighttime allure simply because it a) goes with practically everything I have and b) I think it instantaneously makes your outfit look more expensive. Even if it is not the pretty polly of  actual real gold. My beloved boot heels from the winter too were limited edition from Miss Selfridge (get me.). So enjoy the outdoors now while you can my beloved high heeled boot legged friends because when SS12 starts to come into full flow, my ballet pumps and brogues will replace your sweet leather appearance and you will be hibernating in that shoe closet of mine for quite some time. 

So I may have not have dazzled the beautiful dentist of my male expectations dreams with a Hollywood smile but with the dogTOOTH skirt and lips connotations of my t-shirt I may have dazzled him into thinking I have a passion for all things mouth/teeth related? In all likelihood he probably didn't even notice. Woe is me. But since I'm getting my teeth whitened now (with my own "at-home-teeth-whitening-kits", god help me, I'll end up bleaching my rotten teeth to within an inch of their sugar coated destroyed life or end up using the bleach to bleach my hair instead...) maybe next time we can talk about that picturesque country wedding and Hawaiian honeymoon we have always wanted. Well...what I've always wanted admittedly and that he doesn't even know exists as of yet. Like any good prey of a spinster predator. He will accept our inevitable loved up fate and romantic destiny in time, I swear it. Until then, I'm just his own personal crazy stalker aka. his own magical , regal and mysteriously worrying Tooth Fairy.

GS x 

Approaching Street Style

Last week in my own weekly shenanigans of eccentric fun I met up for a coffee with a girl who recommended me to be a quarterly contributor in a new and upcoming men's style magazine she works for. The magazine in question is called Man About Town in which it's efficient  and the catchy tag line simply is (brace yourself folks) "the indispensable guide for men in Liverpool." Becoming part of the team then in essence would require me to basically roam the petulant streets of Liverpool, in the hope that some stylish and well dressed male specimens were walking round, just waiting specifically for me, an aspiring journalist/weirdo with a lego girl bob, to take a picture of them at that god given place and at that god given time. All in all then, I would be taking the pictures for their "street style" section, which they themselves have adapted and renamed  "street kings."  Oh how fashionably and stylishly majestic and regal of them. And how nice of them to ask me to do such a section to fatten up my own greedy portfolio of work.

Issue two of Man About Town- www.mat-mag.co.uk 

From the cover then you can probably assume my little darling selves the sort of brand identity that the magazine is trying evoke. Man About Town essentially brings to the forefront the best product, services, hair and men's up and coming styles in Liverpool. What they want to achieve from the guide is to find the best tips from all different aspects of life using industry professionals and produce a highly styled product that a man can take away and enjoy at his leisure. In the newest issue the magazine had collaborated with the likes of  one of my favourite high end high street shops take I always like to put on an irrational excited pedestal- the fashion legend that is Reiss. So to get a clearer image of the sort of direction the magazine is probably going to eptiomise, just for instance, think of Reiss campaigns you may have seen in other magazine or in posters in their stores. Now think of their deliciously appetizing male models. Have you got them mouth-watering images in your school girl fluttering head? Tailored suits, lapels, trench coats, brown leather brogues and admiringly groomed hairstyles? There are no words to explain how beautifully handsome they are and understanding my overexcited and overflowing feelings of  omg-male-models-in-suits-I-want-to-lick-all-your-faces-right-now, so to speak. Subsequently then after getting my new DSLR camera and agreeing to take all this on board, I had to venture my fine, lust ridden, young behind into the streets of Liverpool, walking around the city centre for a few hours in the day to see if such mythical fashionable men were in existence or if they had done the unthinkable, emigrated to more stylish capitals such as Manchester, London, Paris, New York (etc.) (or they could be more realistically in work, as I did do it quite early, 9.30 ish on a Thursday morning...) Nevertheless I did manage to bag a few men willing to pose for me and provide me with photographic voyeuristic delights. AND I don't think I did too badly at all for my first go/practise at the whole scary business of approaching people on the street and attempting to be cute and endearing as a person so they would let me take their picture.

So what image was I looking for? The ambitious, going to work, living for the weekend type guy. Preferably over the age of 20. I needed to get a variety of ages and personal styles. But nothing too bohemian or quirky. Stylish yet sleek. Groomed but with a sprinkle of edginess. So here are the fruits of my labours:

BY FAR THE BEST DRESSED GENTLEMEN I HAVE SEEN IN MY SORRY LITTLE LIFE. He was such a talkative sweetie as well. #LoveYou. 

Yeah...was running out of people by this point guys! 

I'm sure you pretty little eyes will agree, some outfits here did deserve some recognition. Some you may think are mediocre and that is certainly fair to argue. Admittedly I did go out quite early with my camera (my supposed morning plans got cancelled and I was otherwise indisposed in the afternoon!). The down side to doing the ambiguity and spontaneity of street style though is of course the inevitable rejection and the walk of shame you have to make when someone refuses you. I did a large amount of equally stylish or even more so nicely dressed males and they just simply wouldn't do it. One said he looked like an "80's throwback" and therefore had no business about being photographed. One made his friend do it but wouldn't do it himself (which was a nightmare because it was a picture of HIM I wanted more than his more averagely dressed friend...) and there was one HIDDEN gem of a camel coat a man had on and when approaching him he said he was too busy. Was he on his lunch break like he earnestly claimed he was? Perhaps, perhaps not (Don't worry I didn't follow him with a trenchcoat on like some detective, notepad in one hand, magnifying glass in another...) It certainly was frustrating and I wanted to rip that camel coat off him and keep for myself and myself alone as punishment. But que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. 

Rejection is a part of the miserable life we all lead I guess (I for one I'm always constantly inundated with rejection; my spinster cats blow me off when it comes to dates, the ice cream man always short changes me then denies he has, the men I constantly stalk too never answer my calls, texts, emails or respond worryingly and with concern to my spinsterish suicide threats...). But as in the immortal words of my ultimate lonely, and spinster role model Bridget Jones, to be "an award winning journalist and not some boorish bint in a bikini" means just biting the bullet and letting yourself prone to some stages of humiliation and awkward embarrassment. Nonetheless overall though I really did enjoy it, it was an invigorating experience, being able to capture people's flair for style in single photographic, complimenting them, boosting their male dominated egos and just generally "making their day." And I felt dead significant too with a professional camera wrapped around my neck, walking around amongst the public. Of course I haven't exactly "made it big" but you know...nobody else on the grapevine knows that. Knowledge/Illusion is power people! ...ALSO this is the casual I'm-a-crap-photographer-wannabe-journalist-ensemble I wore. Trying to be casual with the denim shirt yet smart at the same time with the fitted pants: 

Coat and Top: Topshop
Necklace and Cigarette Pants: H&M
Shoes: River Island
Bag: Mulberry 

So hopefully the next time I have to do my manly street style again, I'll be more confident, more street wise and have the capacity to be able to bully more stylish scouse lads into getting their picture taken. Better outfits this time round.  Possible tactics so far in accomplishing such goals include: following them down the street like a stalker till they turn around and finally agree to get a picture taken, threatening them with violence and my evident vicious right hook, saying I know the Mafia and it would be wise to let me take their picture or else, say a family member has just died aka. the sympathy vote, saying I'm a genie, I know that geezer Aladdin and giving them 3 magical wishes in exchange for an image of themselves. Oh yeah, with bad ass tactics like this, how on earth can I fail? Definitely got it in the designer bag. And who knows, perhaps when all my horrendous University work is over for the year and I have more free time than the lazy housewives who watch The Jeremy Kyle Show followed up by the daily lesbian propaganda known as Loose Women , I'll be able to do a more generic and personalised (that of course meet the expectations of my own personal tastes) street style including women this time round? Oh darlings, I can imagine it now..running up to girls in leather jackets, pretty lace dresses and SS12 pastel colours like a ravenous wild woman, with my camera swinging madly around my neck, with me screaming to the high heavens at these girls "COME ON...vogue!"

GS x


For more information on Man About Town visit the website www.mat-mag.co.uk for news of their up coming launch, Man About Town Live, events and competitions as well as more great issues. 

Satire's Songs: To Like Or Not To Like, The Like?

Yes, that is certainly the question. 

Sitting here on a not so special Monday, bored out of my little precarious mind and procrastinating heavily, I decided to potter around the musical realms of YouTube to reinvigorate my own musical tastes. Lately I've been listening to a number of artists and songs on my IPod, repeating them over and over again (Lana Del Day, The Kills, I Blame Coco anyone?) and I am now in grave danger of over killing/listening to the much songs so much that I will grow tired of them.  And to be frank, I'm not going to lie, when it comes to music I'm not fully knowledgable on "who's hot." I don't watch NME/T4 Music/Top Of The Pops or whatever and I'm not really musically pretentious in knowing all the "indie bands" before they are even realised or before even the band members themselves realise that they are actually part of the "indie" underground scene.  When it comes to my own musical tastes, if the song has got a good beat/refreshing sound, then I'm all over it like eczema (very lovely image I know, but you see infectous the imagery I'm trying to creature here). However I am a fickle friend musically, if an artist I usually like brings out a song and it is l est très mauvais (very very bad) then I won't be loyal to the artist, I'll just disregard it. Disregard it like this season's abysmally unexciting and unpopular trend "sports luxe." 

So whilst unravelling the music notes of the YouTube world and jumping from video link to video link, I managed to find a really quirky video from two years ago of an American all girl alternative rock band. So I hereby introduce to you Ladies and Gents... the musical stylings and fashionable servings of The Like: 

And now I know what you are thinking, what the hell is this exactly?! Is this supposed to be like The Saturdays going all Zoeey Deschanel on us now? Or equally other frightfully dull pop bands like Parade and Little Mix pathetically trying to "dare to be different" in going all retro and vintage? Oh contraire my fiendish friends for I have to admit that even though all girl rock bands are often stigmitised for being usually rubbish and lacking in any revolutionary "girl power" aesthetic whatsoever, I did find that some of their songs were surprisingly catchy and signaled a little bit of the old guilty top tapping sensations of ones feet. This particular music video, it being reminiscent of possibly the best music and fashion era ever, the 60's particularly held me captivated enough to give the band a chance, to prove themselves and their worth, if not through the music alone, they can attempt to win my blackened heart through their 60's flair and style: 

I don't know about you but I feel this song has quite a The Ramones/Beatles style echo/mirroring to it. OBVIOUSLY it can never surpass the vinyl classics but you know, if you are looking for a chilled out afternoon doing the usual... eating cake, drinking tea, smoking a cigerette on a picturesque sunny day and wearing head to toe in 60's monochrome with a cute little beehive and having your thick eyeliner pencil at the ready..then you know...this song could really bode well with this "mods" sort of vintage atmosphere as it were. I for one after hearing this particular song feel like putting on a peter pan collar dress, getting all panda eyed and nude lipped and just jumping on my bed in a pretty little montage of clips pretending I'm having a massive pillow fight with my imaginary friends or something.  

In all honesty though I wouldn't say ALL their music is absolutely amazing or newsworthy (particularly looking at some of their older stuff *shudders*). And there is that issue that we Brits have, that we get all over protective and psycho-bitch-crazy when we feel Americans are trying to steal away and make explicit to the masses our timeless heritage. The Like itself is a band I highly doubt many a few Brits have heard of and are as we speak on a band hiatus in which they are planning not to release anything in the near future so that might prove tantamount to tell us something I suppose (alas then, they aren't going to kick tasteless The Saturdays off the UK Top 40 just yet my friends...). So, what's the point of this post? Promoting a band that well frankly is never going to reach "the sound of the underground?" Well  I don't know about yourselves BUT I'm all for artists when they collaborate a good degree of music with innovative style. Shallow as it sounds, you're not really going to be that music of a fashionable musical sensation or melodic IT girl if you dress like a rat's arse. So I sheepishly thought that due to the fact that I am actually kind of love with the lead singer, Elizabeth Berg's gorgeously fabulous elfin pixie crop, it seemed like a momentous enough topic to blog about. Modern Carey Mulligan esque anyone? Of course all pretty cute, retro hairstyles (which all don't get the recognition they deserve, through no fault of their blonde haired own...) need embracing and harking over harmoniously sometimes even if the band itself has took a flat note and its reputation has broken a few acoustic guitar strings... 

Elizabeth Berg: Pixie crop, cat like eyes and a trench?!
By Jove, I'm all over this like Twiggy is plastered all over them M&S Adverts. 

GS x

Look Of The Week: Mia Wasikowska

Okay, for those of you that are familiar with my dark, petulant and damned mortal soul, you will be fully aware of my highly respected regard for the blackest of dark attire and androgyny. My outfits commonly relish in navy blues, blacks, golds, silvers and burgundy's (and that my friends, is about as light and bright as it gets at the end of my dark and tyrannous tunnel). And I am fully aware that as soon as I heard of the words "pastel" and the inevitable "trend", put two and two together and REALISED that they were dreadfully coming back in to reformation this SS12, I vowed that I would have nothing to do with such ice cream colours. I declared that I would ignore it, avoid it completely, like the way a good for nothing 20 year old bachelor ignores the fact that he has got two women pregnant (without either knowing of each others existence, of course), has no job and is ultimately the scummiest of scumbags. 

However I am weak and prone to being cracked. So like all trends and things that go mainstream, I have slightly succumbed to the yielding and temptations of pastel's alluring palette of colours. I haven't as of yet BOUGHT anything pastel related, so really I have only metaphorically, shall we say, cheated on my androgynous roots by merely imagining myself in pretty summer colours such as; cute corals, delicious mint greens and refreshing sky blues (please don't tell my D&G black prom dress or my array of navy 50's dresses hanging in my wardrobe, they'll get depressed and hysterical...). Nevertheless Pastel Polly Anna Pink is still a no go area. This is an issue due to my own peachy complexion in which if I wear anything remotely Newborn Baby Pink, I either look like the baby's twin sister or even worse...I eptimoise the "sophisticated" look of  a Muppet. That Muppet being the pioneer of puppetrry pink, Miss Piggy. Either way, fate and pink do not bode well. 

BUT that does not necessarily mean I can't enjoy a cheeky little sprinkle of pink on other people. And because Mia Wasikowska is definitely up there on my favourite people list lately (which to be fair is a very fickle and changeable list) I feel like her lady like elegance on the infantile colour should be given credit:

Wearing Miu Miu. 

Oh it's just like looking at a pretty delectable picture of an expensive bar of rock that you really don't want to eat.  So I FULLY give the Jane Eyre actress her due for making this childish colour appear confident, demure and stylishly elegant/edgy. The coat to me just screams (or if we are going to be more Ladylike about this..."retorts" shall we say...) a ballerina-esque feel, a cute exquisite cupcake vibe or "pardon me while I do some cute little retro vintage shopping in my ah-mazingly charming and endearing pink coat." But the coat/outfit itself is by no means vintage. Taken at the ready to wear Miu Miu Fall Winter 2012-2013 Fashion Show, it makes perfect sense of dear little Mia to wear the brand as she herself is the ambassador and model for the brand's latest innovative campaign. What I really like most about this look (and what I am probably most jealous about aside from the fact that I cook like a 5 year old cream eclair if I wear pink) is the fact that she hasn't over done it. Sleeked back hair, no over the top accessories, no big earrings, no ostentatious shoes or hand bags, the make up, the adorable rose bud lips says more by saying less. To me,  elegance and sheer class at its most minimal. And when there is a look that just oozes a minimal vibe and flair, then there's all the more reason to be jealous. Even on an event as glamorous and white collar as this, Mia still is minimal, she doesn't need loads of make up or a regal gown to assert her femininity or her beauty. She is just a natural. Another natural actress with another bloody gorgeous (and unfair) natural face. And for me, a girl who is highly dependent on her mountains of make up, her 6 inch heels and her statement party necklaces like Miss Piggy herself, you could say one is more mint green with envy than pastel pink as a modelesque flamingo.

GS x

Satire's Wearing: Casual Fridays

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday... so the infamous and annoyingly immature pre teen song of lyrical doom goes. But even the obscene teenage strumpet, Rebecca Black can never put a hamper or hinder the joyous fact that it is indeed the end of the week! A day anticipating  2 days of total relaxation for most of you in which you can sit back with a well deserved glass of blanco and let your work/academic worries fly far far away like a mystical bird for at least 2 days or so (However I work in the soul destroying industry that is retail so ultimately my desired fun weekend shenanigans are never fully fulfilled. Additionally I do too have certain worries and apprehensions...such as the atypical weekend worrying of waking up late on a Sunday morning, hating myself for succumbing to the temptations of teenage alcoholism and rolling into work with a massive hangover  like a 1950's rebel without a cause. Of course topped off with last night's prostitute make up still firmly planted on my mush of a face...)

Yes, the sunshine is certainly out in its hope and beams today, radiating to the common folk on the street all the mysteries it has in store, enlightening them literally, with potential fun loving plans for the weekend (such as male students sitting in beer gardens with flip flops, in consequent denial that it still only March and we are NOT in the middle of heat-wave July or something.)  Still just because our landscape has welcomed back these yellow rays recently does not mean we should all whip out the summeriest of Summer attire, just yet. A evident winter chill is still amongst us and even though it can be viewed as weather akin to the Caribbean outside through our deceiving windows, please do not underestimate that wind floating on the precarious breeze. Today certainly was a fine example of such an elemental predicament so I decided to make a dilly dally deal with the weather and have an outfit compromise, so to speak. So today's fashion forecast consisted of wrapping my lower half up warm reliable jeans, a gust of wind upon a rippling sheer navy blouse, a stylish insulator precaution of a light blazer and slightly whipping out some milk bottle ankle flesh, in black courts:

Blazer and Necklace: H&M
Blouse and Shoes: Urban Outfitters
Jeans: (very old!) Primark
Handbag: Vintage

Rings: Freedom at Topshop 

Okay, a few "OMG-look-at-the-sheer-toes-amaze-outfit-I-have-just-wanna-be-chic" photos here. Let me explain. First off it is because you know... I think this a nice little casual ensemble of a carefree outfit (just sayin) and secondly because my deliciously fashionable friends, I just recently bought a Canon EOS 1100D camera (finally after an eternity of waiting in hell and being absolutely willing to sell my soul for one). It obviously put me at quite a stretch financially (absolutely scared to look at my bank account as of now, just like a battered housewife is scared to look at and question her own husbands credit card bills...) but I really needed it for journalistic work experience (reasonable enough justification) and just for a pleasure inducing activity as well so I can have nice and good quality pictures (of course it all can't be all work and no play...there must be a little aesthetic enjoyment somewhere in it for my picturesque self!). So because it was such sunny and buoyant weather, ideal for middle class picnics and the like, I decided that giving the camera a little practice and training when the lightening outside was ideal, would do it some good. So please all bear with me whilst my editing skills remain ever developing, quite shit and self taught...

ANYWHO. I got this blazer recently and like like any young girl overcome with adornment at any new purchases she may have, I've been determined to wear this with pretty much all my outfits all week. The necklace too is really creative and "cool" shall we say (without trying to sound like some crap radical American preppy person) and it is one of them cute and endearing old fashioned eye magnifying glasses (that really does magnify!) and it was only £3.99! I got it last week I've been trying to balance it on my own eye like I'm some aristocrat straight from the Edwardian era ever since (and miserably failing like the optical illusion failure that I am.) My jeans are really horrendously old and I have been in a hiatus of jeans purchasing lately (Primark from about 98745 years ago, oh  dear; the shame, the horror, the ultimate fashion stigma...) therefore I need to get a pair of nice indigo ones stat. My vintage bag also was from the recent ROGUE ethical fashion show I attended. Apparently it's real leather (well that's what the woman said...but at the end of the day she was trying to sell a bag like so she could of said it was made out of J-Lo's ass and that might have still foolishly made me buy it...) and has a cute little compact mirror inside. I think it'd be ideal for a nice day at the luncheon/retail therapy or on a CLASSY night out (not the ones in Liverpool shall we say were I fall flat on my arse 99.9% of the time, in a drunken stupor and dance really badly to adventurous club music).

But being honest with my sorry soul, why I really went casual this non so special Friday was due to the shoes!

Ahhh! I unashamedly wee'd a little bit with childish excitement when I saw these panther heeled bad boys lurking on a shelf in the corner of my eye in Urban Outfitters. I mean, many a Liverpool girl will stigmatise these into "kitten heels" category or whatever but in all honesty, I couldn't care less. These court shoes I think share no aesthetic/visual similarties whatsoever to the kitten heel, the world's confirmed ugliest shoe offender in the history of common decency and shoe humanity. The great thing about these is that they are dead classy birds because they are gold and black AND you can still manage to look a slightly taller than you are (only a few inches but as your old fashioned Mother would say, it's better than nothing at all!) but still compromising your comfort. I was nearly late for my train this morning and still managed to run not-so-elegantly to the platform in these court heels without my feet hysterically wanting to commit shoe pain suicide. And at £35 they are a steal... lovely for the temporal fashion seasons where we are all in an abyss between winter and summer styles. Undeniably then these toe tapping beauties are going to be walking my own summery yellow brick road into Summer 2012....and who knows, quite possibly into the warm leaf blowing early stages of Autumn 2012 too...

GS x

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ROGUE Ethical Fashion Show

Note: Photography By Denise McKeown and the not so professional and slightly shoddy ones where done in a pathetic attempt to be all creative by my eccentric and bodacious self...

Last Thursday night, what were you doing? Doing work? Sitting alone at home similar to a lonely spinster watching the television and eating ice cream and crying in the dark? Or perhaps the opposite of spinster-ism... being a quintessential bachelor type and having a cheeky catch up with friends? (“Catch Up” of course consisting of alcohol and epic pub banter and trying to hit on everyone who walks within ten yards of you...) Well suffice to say that whatever you were doing on that god forbidden night you missed out majorly on the ROGUE ethical fashion show cased to high esteem on our very own of doorstep of the Liverpool Student’s Union building.  Not only was it tremendously fun and worthwhile going and partaking in gloriously gazing out the outfits if you too are quite the fashion enthusiast like me, but it was fundamentally too for a lovingly worthwhile charitable cause.  And I ask you dear peasants, what can be better than sitting on the “FROW” of a fashion show, staring infatuated at various beautiful outfits and models and knowing that such a fun loving and slightly-ever- so-obsessive fashionable hobby can actually help and contribute towards the greater good of mankind? Certainly nothing else in this sad and miserable life. And believe me after seeing some of the outfits from this particular show, you can sign me up for all the charitable causes you want, as long as I am surrounded and smothered by leather, gold chains and vintage bags, I’ll be more than willing...
 

Raising funds and awareness of Christian Aid, the show was organised by current Liverpool John Moores communication students, a LJMU English graduate, Jessica Durham who has an internship with Christian Aid itself and  heavily assembled by Katie Sullivan, a hard working second year English Literature and Creative Writing student. The concept behind ROGUE was inspired and intensified by the statistics on climate change and how easily people (particularly us guilty and ever so slightly fashion conscious women...myself included!) are willing to throw billions of their old clothes away every year,  without really having any comprehension on what it is doing to our continuously depreciating and decaying environment.  Liverpool John Moores University fashion students became motivated and captivated by Jessica’s aims and generously used their own free time to create, design and fabricate designs and collections for the benefit of raising money for third world poverty and the organisation itself.  Jamie Elwood, Melissa Dawson and Victoria Rawley, second year fashion students who volunteered and created the one of the most acclaimed collections of the night “Enchanted Nightmares” where more than happy to do their bit not only to assist the charity the best they can but as a god given opportunity to broadcast to an audience their creative flairs. They agreed “It was quite hard to collaborate as we all have different styles. But it was more time consuming than expensive because it was an ethical show, I mean we have still got material in a bag left from our designs.” 

Just a few of the vintage stalls pre-show that made me all giddy and

excited like an old woman who's been told she's finally getting that
much needed and desire hip replacement! 

Aimee Walsh of "Wanda's Wardrobe."

And that was one of the main motifs of the show, inexpensiveness. HOWEVER before the show started paradoxically, me amongst other clothes hoarding lovers and financially dangerous shopaholics alike were kept busy (and distracted easily from what I was supposed to be doing...supposed “work” and “reporting”) whilst final preparations were being made with the large array of impressive vintage fashion stalls. Everywhere I turned I became intoxicated by denim jackets, silk shirts, vintage clutch bags and pretty cute as a button maxi dresses as bright as the eye could see. Amongst the fashion stalls were renowned local businesses such as Red Hat No Knickers (www.redhatnoknickers.co.uk) , Moth Balls, Re-Enchanted  Susan Hayward and Pillbox Vintage. One of the stalls that attracted me avidly like the old stylish moth to the fashionable flame was Wanda’s Wardrobe (http://www.wandas-wardrobe.co.uk/) in which recent Liverpool John Moores graduate Aimee Walsh runs under the LJMU Enterprise scheme.  Aimee has been doing the scheme for two months where they tell you how to run a business. So, incidently, if they teach you directly about a business full of fabulous vintage one off finds nobody else will ever have, then well you can certainly count me in...

First Show Selections: 

"Knits and Knotted" Theme - designed by Lois Ventry. 

Creative aprons portraying positive messages of the female domestic. 

Coat designed by Kerry Crone.  

After some impulsive and I-shouldn’t-have-bought-that-really-you-know purchases the fashion show began. The first half of the show was solely dedicated to designs and collections the Liverpool John Moores fashion students made;  making clothing from recycled materials and branding them as wearable. Amongst the loud catwalk music and smoke effects, there was many an outfit that caught my wandering and roaming eyes.  These consisted of; grey and black dresses, brimmed with black spikes in a clever and original architectural twist (very Statue of Liberty, if the Statue of Liberty had style and went to really trendy after parties of course... really though, who knew a statue could be so trendy?!), Beyonce-esque “Single Ladies” outfits, oozing classic sex bomb allure, sports luxe knitted bodices, recycled party leather dresses (Think D&G people) and playsuits amidst with pretty Polly lace. Some of the sort of course you couldn’t wear for a night out or to go get a pint of milk from the shop as of course not all catwalk creations should be mimicked (well...mimic if you dare and at your own peril...) as they stand as the bridges of ultimate creativity and as works of art.

Nevertheless  I was surprised by how simplistic, minimal and significantly wearable  some of the pieces from the collection where. Sheer blouses, simply elegant dresses (ideal for a night out amongst your amigos) and classic velvet tops and golden skirt combos where some of the pieces that made me convert  ever so slightly from a high street shop loyal junky (junky's have to be loyal to their addictions don't they?) to an ethical and somewhat "cleaned up" fashion devotee.  I felt even more inadequate like a sheer peasant with no creative or  magical sewing skills when bar was raised even higher again by the second collection;  the coats.  I tell you if Spring Summer was not sulking very closely around the very corner of our streets I would be right now, roaming around the streets of Liverpool One like a lunatic looking for acceptable and similar copy cats. Amongst the coats were Kerry Crone’s very lovely and McQueen-esque maroon leather coat which was the first one that appeared on the runway and made me just get a little bit too overexcited, like a spoilt blonde middle class child opening up her 50 Christmas presents or something. Others too were very imitative of Burberry’s classic styles and this collection was very much for the boys too, so never fear you males! Suffice to say granddad jumpers and navy cardigans are definitely strutting back into town...(And thus should immediately be on your fashion radar, lads).

Second Show Selections: 

The next collection followed up on pure vintage fashions and outfits. Vintage too in a sense is partly ethical as by wearing other peoples “trash” your are making them into your own personal “treasures." This then served as a justification and a sudden lived epiphany that the vintage stalls were not just there for my own aesthetic enjoyment (it’s not all about you Gemma sadly...), they were there to take part, unveil their own key pieces and intensify the appeal of a revived and ever growing fascination with modern vintage street style.  Suffice to say the stalls and vintage outfits did not disappoint. Whatsoever.  When does vintage ever disappoint? It's nearly always cheap, cheerful and ever so quirky. Indeed everything I saw, I somehwhat became weirdly hypersexual over.  This was because I knew there was only one of each item and that one solitary item would be mine and mine alone for the taking. By Jove I wanted practically everything. I wanted the red dress, the midi floral skirts and dresses similar to SS12 designs of Louis Vitton, the black maxi dresses with the gold specs and the navy blue see through dress even though I would have nowhere on this earth to wear it. Even if I just had it to wear around the house to the dishes in like some mad Edwardian women , I would be quite contented.  Never mind. I suppose there is always the next hair raising fashion show...

I luckily too, managed to grab an interview with organiser and Christian aid worker Jessica Durham after the show to congratulate her on such a wonderful fashionable display, aesthetically pleasing to my own naked eyes and arranging the Liverpool John Moores students and Vintage shops to create/bring in such pretty lust worthy clothes: 

GS:  So what was the big inspiration behind the ROGUE ethical Fashion Show?

JD: The ethical show was basically to show awareness of our climate change, the fact that we waste billions of tonnes of clothing each year is just shocking. I think it’s important for Christian Aid to highlight and educate people through fashion how we are responsible when we throw our clothes away, particularly women as they are the ones most affected by fashion. 

GS:  The statistics are that high? I feel so guilty now myself! But when you say an “ethical” show what does that really mean?

JD: The “ethical” stance for this show is the recycling or rather the “upcycling” of old clothes.  The stuff the fashion students made obviously was mostly made from recycled material itself but the vintage side to the show was to show that what people throw out for waste which is deconstructive for the climate other people could be easily interested in.  The show is then ethical in that sense as well.  I have a few friends from the vintage stalls here too who were very happy to help.

LP:  I couldn’t agree more. I don’t know how anyone would want to throw that vintage stuff away! How come you decided to use the Liverpool Student Union as a venue?

JD: It is right on our doorstep and sometimes it is overlooked and never used. We wanted to promote the SU other than just a place where people drink and get many different people involved. We wanted to utilise essentially what we already had.

LP: That makes perfect sense...I thought it was a really good spacious venue...and talking of the fashion show did you find anything that caught your eye, what was your favourite collection?!

JD: I can’t say that! (Laughs and pauses.) I really liked the “Enchanted Nightmares” collection near the beginning; I found the designs and pieces from that really interesting. I also loved the 1950’s inspired pink aprons as they showed a really positive message about women and domesticity and the girls really got the message of a creative domestic.

LP: They really caught my eyes as well...so artistic! Is there anything else you would like to say or add regarding the show?

JD: Yes, I’d just like to thank everyone who has been involved in the show from the lecturers, to the fashion students inspired by what I said, organisers and Christian Aid. They are amazing students and really can’t thank them all enough and just wanted to say that fashion does not just have to be so high end as we all can’t afford it. I hope the show proves this and changes people’s perceptions.

~

And after the show, more vintage shopping commenced! Instead of denying myself and saying no, like I would to life threatening drugs and adult swinging orgies, I decided to carry on ruining my life and of course my batterd and abused bank account by "browsing." But in my financial defense, it would have been hard for even the most stoic and disciplined mere fashion mortals to not coo at such displays and items. And at their relative cheapness too: 

In hindsight: I should have bought this dress! 

Simply inviting and irresistible noi? Conclusively then, an engaging atmosphere, a brilliantly creative show, providing myself and others with loads of possible inspirations for my own Spring/Summer outfits. I had WELL more pictures than this but I realised that my own camera was the crappiest thing before sliced bread and have now invested in a stylishly professional Canon camera post fashion show (the usual you know, getting epiphanies of sitting in the FROW and bullying myself into thinking that I need a DSLR camera to succeed in this industry or I might as well just succumb to my inevitable destiny of busking in the streets of Liverpool in Primark's finest for the rest of my sad and woeful life...) I hope Liverpool Student Union decides to forgo another overflow of spontaneous ethical fashion very very soon. In the mean time, I might get my little self reacquainted with the Liverpool street vintage shops...after all as the talented designers have proven, all that glitters certainly can be gold, unless you decide to throw it away of course and do the unspeakable, BE an unethical shrew who can't be tamed...

GS x