Satire's Wearing: Collared Up

Ahhh yes. It is yet another bloggers take of the blessed collar/jumper outfit combo. Oh the originality of this post must be overwhelming you all to the point of suffocation. But seriously, who can resist such a charming style proposition? Certainly not moi.  Ever since I have saw a particular British IT girl wearing collars under her old baggy jumpers (I'll give you a nifty clue...it rhymes with Mlexa...) I have been infatuated with this mainstream fashion trend ever since. And it didn't help that that various magazines, bloggers, websites and lookbooks have all been pioneering and perpetuating the clothing duo like they were the Romeo and Juliet of fashion ensembles or something (meaning it is possibly a lovesick tragedy to see one without the other these days...). And what with my shameful hoarding collection of about 38597938 frigid bitch grandma jumpers and an equal amount of androgynous collared shirts I thought in the immortal words of Take That...I best relight my fire as it were by whipping out another collar/jumper combo. Because after all, their love...is my only desire. 

The great thing about wearing collars and jumpers combos is that they can be dressed up or dressed down. And due to the fact I was only running a few errands down the road today on my day off work with a friend, I thought it best to resist the staggering temptation to wear gold lyra hot pants and stripper shoes. I somehow managed (though it was a close call people...) to just play it safe instead with a more casual look (as I really don't want to be responsible for the OAP's heart attack in the beans aisle. I care about old strangers deeply and just want them to prosper in life and relish their bean eating throughout their remaining years). Here then is my errand-boy-running-around-like-a-headless-chicken daytime look. And yes I do love my Mango jumper even though it makes me look thrice my actual size:  

Jumper: Mango
Shirt: Charity Shop
Skirt: Monki
Shoes: Topshop
Glasses: Ray Bans 

Glasses: Ray Bans. And yes I need to dye my hair. 

Shoes: Topshop 

Not exactly the most adventurous of outfits, I admit but boy oh boy is it comfortable. The Mango jumper does slightly make me look a bit 'larger than life' or like I've eat all the motherlovin pies (via Greggs) or something BUT you know...YOLO and all that jazz...baggy jumpers are where its at. They are comfy, hide a multitude of sins and can make a lovely and vintage  alternative to wearing a jacket on a cool day dontcha know.  And instead of wearing mundane jeans I thought I'd add a more girly yet edgy touch by wearing my leather Monki skirt. If a juxtaposition of wool and leather is good enough and modern enough for our babe Alexa, then by Jove it is good enough for me. I mean...if Alexa say...even wore a horn from her forehead like a unicorn and said it was the new fashion accessory, she'd probably look amazing wearing it.  So amazing in fact that there would be a landslide of young crazy ass fashion women wanting to pretend they have just come off the set of My Little Pony or something. And of course the beloved Topshop brogues speak for their laced up selves. Brogues: keeping the 'Lady Of The Androgynous Manor' look going since the 1960's.

So after gathering a few bits and pieces, getting a fringe trim and the weather spicing itself up...me and my friend came home, had a cup of coffee, sat down and thus began our dark descent into daytime boredom and despair. With both of us being quite skint lately, we were as desperate as lunatics in an insane asylum to go outside and do something. And after taking my jumper off and taking one accidental photograph of my outfit in the garden and appreciating the lighting surrounding it we decided hey...we blatantly have no life...why not take some more pointless photographs of clothes like pretentious people? And so we did. So here is the outfit stripped of its jumper. Bet you are all beyond yourselves to see this colossal change. It will impact your life in drastic and interesting ways (/sarcasm).  Please please please...I beg-th of you... don't drool on the keyboard in excitement too much.

Top: Charity Shop
Skirt: Monki
Shoes: Topshop
Glasses: Ray Bans

Me and my friend were really 'fascinated' by the lightening in the background and thought it had a nice moody, pondering and mysterious feel to it. Which was nice. Gotta love posing in the afternoon deluding yourself into thinking you are either in a sexy Summertime Sadness Lana Del Rey video or alternatively going to be the next big busty thang for model Peter Andre's woahhhhhhh, Mysterious Girl video instead. Still I think these photos have a pleasant enough end-of-the-summer feel to them, so I personally would just like to thank the Sun today for being an absolute trooper, allowing us to use its almighty rays to pass a few hours and as a means of escapism from our otherwise boring and melancholic lives. And also thanks for all the Summer 2012 memories. The overcast skies, the rain, being sunny for half the day then deciding to go randomly cold for the rest of the afternoon, the floods, the fact that I have to go to another country on holiday to actually see you in person. You da best babes. 

So yes...jumpers and collars. The perfect antidote I think to cure the winter blues that will creeping up in the next few months like a carnivorous wolf. Every time I see a collar/jumper combo say on a clothes shop mannequin or pictured on another blogger/celeb, I always manage to feel irrationally more cheerful. I can't explain how or why...I just do. They are just so endearing and cute, just like a 3 year old toffee haired toddler before it cries and throws its Lego pieces at you. 

GS x